I hadda conversation with my dad, I hate talking with him about certain things. It’s only him & my grandma I can’t have deep convos with. Cause it makes me wanna cry. My dad always tells me how he had money saved up for me to go to college & he says how he promised me a car but he can’t do any of that for me anymore cause he lost his job. Which I never talk about cause its too touchy for me. Then my grandma always talks about how she loves me so much & brings up oldddd memories from when I was a kid & it makes me sad cause I miss the good old days when she used to babysit me & I spent so much time with her now, I rarely see her & I now our time together is limited. I’m done I can’t do it anymore. I just thought I should let a little of it put & it’ll make me feel better but I was wrong as always.

So this guy from my school passed away recently. And alotta people from my school are saying how our school have came together like a family cause of this death & I think it’s pure bullshit. Yeah, for a short time we came together. But how long did that last? Like half a day. To be perfectly honest it’s only the black people/ghetto people who knew him who “came together like a family” Honestly my school as a whole is no where close to being a “family”. All you fuckers always tryna fight & talk shit about one another. Plus you all are annoying, rachet, loud, anxious & stank like shit. I hate you all. I can’t wait to get the fuck out of there, one more damn year. Godfuckendamnit.

So I’m gettin suck I my job, already. I just don’t like how it’s so difficult just to get days off. We don’t have a big crew so it’s hard. Which makes it even harder to have people work for you when half of them already work the same time/day as you. Ugh, I’m so annoyed. This month is pretty busy & so will summer at certain points. And next year is senior year so I’m gonna be 10x as busy. Goddamnit. 24 hrs a day is just not enough. Time is just too precious. I want a new job. Kay, bai.

I believe I’m a real faithful trust worthy friend, for the most part. I always have a friends back. But I wonder if their priorities are the same. If they were in the situations I was, would they have my back like I had theirs? For most, I really doubt it. Which is probably why I have trust issues. I always like to help out a friend, but when I think back & wonder if they’d do the same I usually assume they wouldn’t. But I would never know until it really happened. It’s just all fuckery.

The type who aren’t quick to judge. You can vent to them, and labeling you will be the last thing on their mind. They don’t believe rumors because they know there are two sides to every story. They give you chance, before they judge you. They get to know who you really are, then have an opinion. I like those type of people, real people.

(via sincerelychanele)

I got my ACT score today & I’ve never felt so dumb & disappointed in myself before. I’m not saying my score cause I’m too embarassed. I’m mentally ready for college but academically I’m not, I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to survive in college. I can see myself either super happy or stressed & depressed. Seriously I’m so upset you have no idea. I have no fucken faith in myself & I hate myself. If could I would take my life, honestly. This shit is too damn much.

Ohh so you’re tried because you work 3 days in a row?! Bitch, Please! What else do you fucken do besides work?! Shit, you don’t do shit! My ass have school & work, if anyone I should be complaining. But even then I still have time to do a lil chores around the house but your ass is a lazy bastard who don’t ever do shit. And you’re a dumbass. Smh get the fuck outta here & kiss my fatass lazyass bitch.